Tag Archives: #blog

It’s not a switch, it’s me


I’m not a switch. I can’t let you have the pleasure of a sporadic On/Off game. Either I borrow the brightest light from the brightest star never to return or I’m absolute darkness, a darkness immersed in the world’s black as its white, a darkness that continues  forever and a day long. This is me. I’m neither hiding any thing more nor showing anything less. If you want someone to play your wingless angel, someone to love you to nonpareil tangents I’m here.   And if you want to satiate your demons seeing someone being on a swing for you then you shouldn’t be here. This is your moment. Think, feel, recall, recollect or go by your instincts and decide. You want me to be there for every fraction of moment or permanently hide?

-Antra Chauhan

A Note to Self ❤

Self love is all we need.

Dear self
This is to tell you that every bit of me loves you, loves you alot, and loves you more than anyone in this world or any world possible. You are amazing..and you are beautiful. Your eyes,are my fav part of you. Not for just the way they look but for how they see, the way they capture such amazing glimpses for me to cherish forever, the way they twinkle, the way they express- love, anger, curiosity, despair and everything possible. And those long undone tresses that flow down like waves….the way you shake your head and it tickles down your back- you giggle right? I giggle with you too. I am the lucky one to see all the seen and unseen versions of you. The way you’ve cried for the littlest things and stood strong through the fiercest blows, all the silent prayers that you make for the ones you love, and all the mischiefs, secrets, ideas, smiles and tears that hit you- nothing of it is hidden from me, my love! My eyes are always on you and my heart always with you, and will always be- Yes Forever. It’s not your journey, it’s our journey. And no matter who is there and who isn’t, I’m always going to be there FOR YOU, not next to you but inside you. Thankyou for all the amazingness shared :))
                                                              With Love

Distantly Near


Jade was so full of love and happiness.. she could go candy sharing it from one end of the world to another and not fall short of it… floated on two extremes,  could shoot out  in the fiercest way if anything pricks her the other way, and the same girl could move mountains to make you feel special-damn-special. She was different…She was all magic(the white one okay). And Sara – Jade’s paradox… fears and scars of the past…tears all dried and smiles that long bid (good)bye…but also this beauty hidden within….rays of the brightest sun gleaming off the keyhole….and his desire…to break open the door and free in her spirits and have a glimpse of the ocean of love that once found its place within .. ..but Jade….if he would walk up to Jade and sing this two road song…she would take a shiny wrapped sweet out of her lilttle blue sling bag and extend it towards him as she steals away his heart with the angel smile on, rise up on her toes and whisper into his ears GOODLUCK 🙂 All he could share was love and Jade was so full of it and Sara devoid of even a bit…he went by Sara….to wipe off the dark dust on and pour the glittering sand all warm….Now he sees Sara love and smile the way that never fades…in her he sees just another Jade…It’s time to walk up to her again…. eyes all close…Hey! My angel welcome to the ‘Jade World’..

All about the backdrop…..

Stadium, crowd, sun and? And a picture 📷

At times its not really about the things that are meant to be the centre of the crowd and their attention, at times its about the little things which fail to go unnoticed, at times its about the backdrop, at times it is about the things that catch your eyes, your heart and spirits, at times its about the little things that matter, at times it’s about the things that stay in some way… … :))

Emotions of a Friend-zoned person


“Oh! What would I do without you? I am so glad that you exist. You make everything so easy for me. And I am sooo soooo very fortunate to have a FRIEND like you!” So this thankyou note from the person you profoundly admire was going well until you heard this word. Which word? This FRIEND word. Like they are trying to tell you that see you are my friend and that’s what you are going to be, and don’t be silly enough to think that I’ll ever love you. And know what? Even when they say that they love you, they’ll never forget to mention this phrase- AS a FRIEND- I LOVE YOU AS A FRIEND! It just infuses into ones heart like Acid or like some knife coated with some sweet, shimmery and crystal like POISON, poking into your body and bit by bit slashing you apart.
“Oh! So I’m so amazing? And stupid you can’t do any stupid thing without me! You say I’m funny! And you even laugh at my jokes. You have to kill me with all your stupid stories about your ex and whatever cute person. As you say I ‘m that person you can trust. If I’m soo good then what’s the flaw in the whole idea of romancing me? So better don’t say that I ‘m sooo good, as I hate lies and liars too! So just get lost!” This is what this person wants to hit right on their face. But ofcourse he doesn’t.  And all he ends up doing is to fake a smile. Like there is this butcher singing sweet songs and smiling to a chicken as he stands with a knife to cut it off and he says “So baby chicken I’m gonna cut you off! Enjoying it? Say yes!” and the chicken says “YES! YESSS! YESSS!” 😀
And these people who are admired don’t even leave these fans alone at peace. They are clever. They know these fans are crazy for them, and they just need to say once and these people will be there on their toes to follow. “Hey! Just look at that girl! Isn’t she cute? Just look at her style! I’m completely drooled over! You are my friend, my best friend! Plz plz plz! Do something! Befriend her and introduce me to her! Okay! Now get to work!”
And what is this ‘friend’ girl thinking? Ofcourse she is burning with envy! She likes him since days, weeks, months or may be years, she is the one to complete all his notes and assignments, she is the one assisting him with all his projects, she is the one to get all his fav stuff to eat ignoring her personal fav, she is the one thinking about him every other moment, and suddenly some unknown girl walks in, and he says she is cute and he wants to get talking to her! How dare he!
“Hey! I’m xyz! New here? Need some help? Blah blah blah blah……MEET MY FRIEND!” 😀
No matter how much it hurts them, but they end up doing it. Why? Because that person they are crazy about wants them to do it. And saying NO TO THEM, that’s a crime in their dictionary. And you know what is truly hilarious? There is so much a possibility for that guy drooling over that new girl to get caught up in her friend zone. And he would stay there as if he has been glued. Ofcourse that isn’t what he was hitting for, but I guess there’s some force that prevents them to move. And it is not that they don’t try. They do try. But it’s difficult. It’s undoubtedly not happening at all to hang around with the girl you like and the guy she likes. And to see them holding hands, looking into eachothers eyes, and transmitting every possible signal to convey that how madly they are in love. You feel like nothing less than a fool to witness that, as you were supposed to be that guy with the girl. It was always you and her (in your  head atleast). But in reality it is this guy who came in and stole away the girl. How badly you feel like punching him on his face. But all you do is to smile.  Smile at both of them as if that entire nuisance they are doing, you are finding it cute! Cute? Kill me before I say that, as it is freaking annoying. Being friends ever long, that’s not what you want. People caught up in this zone have this idea of romancing them, holding their hands like they are theirs, hugging them, kissing them when something really great happens, whispering these love you notes into their ears, to see them smiling at their name, to hear them saying that they love them, to have them doing all that existed in their head for real. But they have this fear of losing- losing whatever exists between them, losing that happiness of being with them, false though, they have this fear of losing them. But how do you lose something that is not even yours?
Honestly I feel that movies have ruined our concepts a lot. Only in movies there can be this hero/heroine completely ignoring the feelings of a person who is just a friend for them, then suddenly some tragedy and some song happens and their feelings are completely transformed and guess what? HAPPY ENDING! Phew! But reality is alot more different. Someone you get too comfortable with, someone with whom there is nothing to shy off, nothing to feel excited about, no tickles in the stomach, no attraction, where the very first spark is missing, you can never fall for such a person, not because that you don’t like them, but because you don’t like them like that, and you can never really picture yourself with them like that. You get it right? And I don’t even believe in that high valued concept of SELFLESS LOVE, where love is pure, love is divine, love is self-sacrificing, love is giving! Errr! To get into love and even to stay in love, the other person has to serve you something- to serve your soul, with feelings, perspectives, ideas, fantasies, and a new world. It is all about give and take. You give them a part of you and you also take a part of them. Love is not even constant, it keeps changing for good as well as for the bad. What if you stop doing everything, the exchange of words, ideas, feelings, meetings, then obviously the other person would fall out of love. So the love and efforts of one person alone cannot hold two people together. And there is no happiness in loving a person who can’t love you back. This person must be a million dollar person but if this person doesn’t makes you feel like a million dollar person then it’s not worth it. Get out of faking things that don’t come naturally and certainly never will. And comeon! This massive population is enough to keep your hopes high. Soooo many amazing people around and look you are young (at heart)! So just keep that search for the right person on! Goodluck! :)